dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
