weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i already hear my dad disowning me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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