Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
