You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
