Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
