No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize