grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize