we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
