when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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