i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
