oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
