So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
there is puke in my bra ... again
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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