quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
