THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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