He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize