Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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