I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
