I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
