you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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