Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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