i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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