oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
