The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The ass gains better be worth it
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