Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
