i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
