Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
