so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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