I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
