Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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