her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
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