I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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