i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
