I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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