so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
