I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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