im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize