i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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