no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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