i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just found a bag of teeth...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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