My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
