The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
