there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
