i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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