Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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