Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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