this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
