forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
