So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
