Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
