Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
