Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
