my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
