I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
