he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
