I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
