grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
