so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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