You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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