My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
