I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
